


Offsides

by stardropdream (orphan_account)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-19
Updated: 2013-01-19
Packaged: 2017-11-26 01:30:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/645037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/stardropdream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>America is an idiot in the face of (not American) football.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Offsides

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ June 24, 2009.

America’s laughter was really, really getting annoying.   
  
“USA, USA, USA!” he was chanting as he stomped around the room, blocking the television and pumping his fists in the air in an extremely obnoxious manner. “AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!”   
  
“Oh for heaven’s sake…” England began, but was thoroughly cut off as America hopped onto the couch, pointed one finger at Spain, and laughing maniacally.   
  
“How does it feel to get beat by me?!” he asked victoriously.   
  
Spain looked like he was about to pass out or half a second before he grinned. “It was a good game! You’ve really improved, America.”   
  
“Stop being such a good sport about it,” America said, and almost pouted. “Aren’t you Europeans supposed to be super into soccer—I mean ‘football’?”   
  
“It’s the Confederation Cup,” England said with a roll of his eyes. “Nobody takes it seriously.”   
  
“USA WON FIFA!” America shouted, ignoring England save for a rather hefty glare in his general direction. “IN YOUR FACE. Let’s recap. Number of European teams still in the Confederation Cup? ZERO. Number of USA teams still competing? UM. ONE. ME. HA HA HA!”   
  
England rolled his eyes. “Oh, give it a rest.”   
  
“International football is mostly a joke, to be honest,” Romano piped up, leaning against the wall and staring stubbornly at the television screen where they were playing recaps from the Spain vs. USA game (0 to 2). “Have you seen FIFA’s rankings?”   
  
“Romanooooo,” Spain whined, then draped himself over Romano, much to the Italian’s chagrin. “Let him have his fun, it’s okay.”   
  
“Shut up!” Romano said with a blush, shoving at the other nation. “He’s being loud and obnoxious.”   
  
“You be quiet, you diving loser,” America insisted with a point towards Romano, and then towards the other Italian brother, for good measure. The two brothers looked rather put upon a moment, but America was already waltzing off before they could think of a comeback.   
  
“BOW TO THE GREATNESS OF THE USA!”   
  
“Well, nobody likes Spain’s team anyway,” England said, deciding diplomacy may be the best route for a gentleman such as himself. “It has been a while since he’s lost.”   
  
“England, so mean!” Spain protested, but didn’t look that upset. He just laughed.   
  
“England, you’re not bowing!” America whined.   
  
“Oh, shut up.”   
  
“NEXT STOP, THE WORLD CUP!” America said, throwing his arm out in a customary salute, positively grinning from ear to ear.   
  
“Dear God…” Romano muttered. “This is ridiculous.”   
  
“From now on, I propose we call this wonderful sport Ameriball!” America said, arms to the ceiling, and foot stomping on the couch arm, dangerously close to England’s drink.   
  
“Now you’re just being stupid on purpose,” England groused.   
  
America broke out into his chants again.   
  
“You haven’t even won yet,” Romano shouted. “You’re just in the finals.”   
  
“ _Yet!_ ” America shouted with a laugh.   
  
“He better fall flat on his face next game,” Romano muttered to himself.   
  
“I won’t!” America promised. “Spain is a god damn maniac. He usually beats everyone super easy. So anybody in the final is going to get their ass handed to them by the greatest nation on Earth!”   
  
“America…” Spain began.   
  
“You be quiet!” America said, in absolute glee. “All you’ve been talking about is how beautiful the final will be with you versus Brazil. WELL GUESS WHAT?”   
  
Spain laughed, a bit uneasy.   
  
“Saying things like that before the tournament even started,” America continued with a dramatic shake of his head. “That’ll teach you!”   
  
“America, shut your mouth before I go over there and make you shut up,” England shouted, and chucked his empty glass at him for good measure.   
  
America, once again, broke into his chants and couldn’t be silenced for hours afterwards.

**Author's Note:**

> \- The US team beat the Spain team 2-0 today in the Confederations Cup, which was very unexpected. The US wasn't supposed to make it past the semi-finals (since they were playing against Spain and Italy, both very good teams.) And Spain hasn't lost a game since... 2006, I believe? So... naturally dear old US is going to be a huge dick at the football watching party.
> 
> \- A lot of other teams accuse the Italian teams to be full of divers (where players pretend to be hurt in the hopes of getting yellow and red cards given to the opposing team.)


End file.
